• BambiDiego@lemmy.world
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      5 months ago

      I’d be displeased to have Joe in my kitchen, but he would probably make good “Grandpa style pancakes.”

      Trump on the other hand would burn them because he forgot to use eggs, blame my kitchenware, and say that I purposely sabotaged him by not giving him the right tools and ingredients because I’m an immigrant and pancakes are an American patriot meal I shouldn’t be allowed to have anyway

      • runjun@lemmy.world
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        5 months ago

        You can picture Trump in the kitchen doing work with his hands? Mr bone spurs!?

    • ivanafterall@kbin.social
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      5 months ago

      Why would he cook pancakes when they’ll just hand him his hotcake platters at the McDonald’s window? He doesn’t even have to pay for them. What are they gonna do, call the cops?

  • RobotToaster@mander.xyz
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    5 months ago

    Ladies and gentlemen, let me tell you, nobody, and I mean nobody, makes pancakes like I do. These pancakes are tremendous, folks, they’re absolutely huge and beautiful. People are talking about it, believe me.

    I’ve got the best pancakes, everybody says so. They’re golden and fluffy, just like the golden days of America. We’re making breakfast great again, and it starts with these pancakes. I’ve been in the pancake business for a long time, and I can tell you, I’ve never seen pancakes like these before.

    These pancakes are so big, they’re like the skyscrapers of the breakfast world. I mean, you’ve never seen pancakes this big, this beautiful. People from all over are coming to taste these pancakes, and they’re saying, “Wow, these are the best pancakes I’ve ever had in my life.” And you know what? They’re right.

    We’re not just making pancakes, we’re making history. These pancakes are going to go down in the books as the greatest pancakes ever made. Forget about the other pancakes, they’re nothing compared to mine. Mine are the biggest, the best, the most incredible pancakes you’ll ever taste.

    So, when you sit down to enjoy these pancakes, remember that you’re not just having breakfast, you’re having a piece of history. These pancakes are making breakfast great again, and I’m proud to be the one serving them to you.

    • Psythik@lemmy.world
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      5 months ago

      If only he could form a complete thought like that. You nailed his Trump-isms, but the real Trump would have gone off on an Adderall-fueled tangent by the third sentence.

      • WIIHAPPYFEW [he/him, they/them]@hexbear.net
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        5 months ago

        Could’ve just been mid-late 00s Donnie from the Trump Steaks era

        But yeah modern Trump would go on a tangent abt a diner owner who thanked him for the covid checks revitalizing his business, then talk about how rude the waiters in Boston are in contrast or smth before attacking Ed Markey

    • ImplyingImplications@lemmy.ca
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      5 months ago

      I like how Trump has has multiple sexual assault allegations and has gone on record saying he just grabs women by the pussy because he’s famous enough to get away with it, but it’s Biden that gets made fun of for being a creep.

      • fsxylo@sh.itjust.works
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        5 months ago

        If Biden were a Republican they’d be wearing t shirts saying “I’d sniff them, too”.