The weight of living with chronic illness is getting to me again. Could use some empathy from others who understand and won’t pressure me to explain what’s going on (a dozen small triggers maybe), turn it into their problems, or tell me it will get better or the worst, “Stay strong.”

We’ve all been here so here’s a place where we can sit with each other.

  • Parsnip8904@beehaw.org
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    1 year ago

    I read some reasearch recently that talked about how emotions are strongly interrelated with physical state unlike thoughts, which helped me make a little bit more sense of what is going on.

    What are you watching right now? I struggle with Friends/Community/The Good Place for the same reason. I like the parts where they just have fun and do interesting things but then everything gets mixed in with interpersonal drama that makes me feel uncomfortable.

    If it’s your cup of tea, there’s a TV series called ‘Clarkson’s Farm’ about Jeremy Clarkson trying to run his farm which I found to be touching and soothing in a way :)

    • emma@beehaw.orgOP
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      1 year ago

      Not going to tell you what I think of Clarkson then :)

      I gave up on UK & European telly awhile back. Got into Asian drama earlier this year. They tend to go deep with all emotions, highs and lows. Different set of cliches and conventions too. I’m rewatching a Chinese screwball comedy called The Romance of Tiger and Rose, where a young screenwriter gets stuck in the story and historical world she’s created but things don’t go to plan and, like all good screwball comedies, she talks her way into and out of much mayhem. Gender roles are reversed in the city she’s made up and that’s used well for social commentary. The new one is from So Korea, the title is translated into English as “King The Land.” I don’t know much about it.

      I studied and practiced Buddhism when I was younger and through that learned how to identify when emotions were real emotions and when the feelings were physical. If I was feeling low and assigned reasons to it, it would last longer than if I recognised it as primarily physical. “Not putting content into it” is the phrase I used. With middle age though, no real support, a life of chronic illness, and how. much. is going on in the world these days, there’s a lot of content.

      • Parsnip8904@beehaw.org
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        1 year ago

        I don’t think Clarkson is a great guy and you couldn’t pay me to watch Top Gear or whatever else he hosts 🤷🏾‍♂️ but I liked this show mostly.

        That sounds really cool :) Especially the first one, though I struggle with watching awkward situations on TV. I’ve been recently watching The Signal (one of the best TV shows I’ve seen across all languages) and Extraordinary Attorney Woo because the protagonist is autistic like me :) I have been struggling with EAW though because how much of drama it has.

        That’s a really interesting way of looking at it 🤔 I sort of work at the other end of the spectrum where if I can find reasons, then I can try to fix stuff but I struggle with feelings that I can’t resolve reasons for at a basic level. I have been practicing mindfulness for a while and it has helped me in this regard by focusing on little things that matter, though the world is burning 😅

        • emma@beehaw.orgOP
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          1 year ago

          Tiger and Rose is mostly awkward situations. Countless twists and turns but everything comes out of something before. I haven’t seen EAW yet.

          Just feel the feelings then.

        • emma@beehaw.orgOP
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          1 year ago

          Hello again 🙂

          I’ve watched EAW since you had mentioned it. Did you finish it? I also struggled to get through a lot of episodes, especially the shouty courtroom bits and the speed and pitch of WYW’s voice when she was info dumping or agitated. The lead actress did an amazing job of inhabiting the character. It was just hard for me cause of my own broken neurologicals.

          When you wrote “how much drama it has”, could it have been related to that sort of thing? I’m not autistic but there can be similarities in things like sensory overload.

          • Parsnip8904@beehaw.org
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            1 year ago

            Hello 😄

            I couldn’t finish it. I usually can’t deal with watching awkward situations or emotional drama on screen because I feel like I’m experiencing what the charector is. In case of EAW it was even worse because I could relate to her even more. I gave up when

            spoiler

            she tried to hang herself to see if the defendant could have done it.

            I suppose it hits too close to home, as you said. Like the revolving door scene 😅

            The other part is this hyper empathy I have because of ASD.

            • emma@beehaw.orgOP
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              1 year ago

              ok, i understand more about how it is with you now. The hyper empathy must make watching most things difficult.

              I’ve been watching a short 8 hour Thai drama about gay men, relationships and letting go. It’s beautifully done, simple and very real. Only have an hour left and I’m rationing it out so I don’t finish too quickly. Don’t know if it would be ok for you, the awkward bits don’t last too long and the characters support each other through it all. Moonlight Chicken, on youtube.