seen this post elsewhere? click for explanation

This post got banned from !memes@lemmy.world for reason “Troll Posting” which is Very Disrespectful in my opinion. 😕

I mean this meme with full respect and love to my fellow community members and I was proud of the discussion and support it was creating.

EDIT: POST RESTORED YAY. (Thank you to the mods it turned out to be a misunderstanding.)

Important clarification/FAQ

I am not calling to coddle or excuse the behavior of bigoted men in any way!

I am calling to be kind and understanding to young men (often ages 10-20) who are very manipulable and succeptible to the massive anti feminist propaganda machine. Hope this clarifies that very important distinction. :)

Very good comments that express key points:

    • Sop@lemmy.blahaj.zone
      31·
      2 months ago

      Do you realise how pathetic you sound? Women are told to shut their mouth and keep their opinions to themselves all the fucking time. It’s time for men like you to realise that sometimes yeah you should shut up and yeah your opinion is less important than the lived experience of women when it comes down to sexism and SA. Educate yourself please before you embarrass yourself even more.

      Invisible women is a great book to start. Very easy to read and full of interesting statistics.

      • PugJesus@lemmy.worldEnglish
        21·
        2 months ago

        Do you realise how pathetic you sound? Women are told to shut their mouth and keep their opinions to themselves all the fucking time.

        Yikes.

          • barsoap@lemm.ee
            4·
            2 months ago

            I mean yes I could have used the term “toxic masculinity” but men not steeped deeply in feminist theory tend to react badly to it, and self-identified feminists (usually also not quite firm in theory) getting called out for engaging in it tend to react even worse. And I already used quite a lot of budget on the privilege check, so, yeah, better avoid that one.

            Oh your edit.

            Have you ever asked yourself why people only bring up male victims when we are talking about female victims?

            Because the overall narrative is women are weak and in need of protection while men are not, and if they are, it’s because they are a) toxic male view losers b) toxic female view in some way inherently broken because how can you fail as a man in a world made for men.

            Looking at the difference between the toxic perspectives: At least the male one doesn’t lend itself to denying the very existence of men with issues. On the toxic female side you get things like radfems shutting down domestic violence centres for men as it clashes with their idea that men are inherently never victims. Reality, it seems, has a compassionate bias so it has to be denied.

        • Sop@lemmy.blahaj.zone
          5·
          2 months ago

          Facts don’t care about your feelings bro

          • 91% of SA victims are women, 99% of perpetrators are men;
          • women in the EU work 70 hours per week on average vs men who work 63 hour per week (this includes paid and unpaid work, women do about 3 times as much unpaid work as men)
          • number of women in the US who face workplace discrimination is 3 times higher than men
          • women politicians in the US face 3.4 times as much threats and harassment than men
          • car seats are only tested on male dummies resulting in women being 73% more likely to get seriously injured by a car crash
          • most medicines are only tested on male animals and or humans, resulting in lower efficacy among women and causing medicines that would be beneficial to women to go undiscovered

          Once again I recommend reading the book invisible women for more interesting statistics, and an analysis on gender specific data. It turns out that gender specific data is very hard to come by, making a lot of potential other gender gaps undiscovered. Women are much more likely than men to be victims of gender specific data gaps because women were not allowed to work for a long time and women still make up only a small fraction of executives making many women specific problems to stay undiscovered.

      • beardown@lemm.ee
        5·
        2 months ago

        It’s time for men like you to realise that

        Why are you talking to a 15 year old like that?

    • spujbOPEnglish
      23·
      2 months ago

      Hey! I am here to tell you don’t shut up. ❤️

      I am listening to and validating your stories. I don’t appreciate the other commenters jumping down your throat in this context.

      There are a lot of emotions running high on all sides. What is needed is a deep breath and open mindedness but that is hard under a post that is already a reaction to a reaction.

      If you haven’t already, check out !mensliberation@lemmy.ca, seen some positive stuff over there and I think you could find mutual value :)

      • HauntedCupcake@lemmy.worldEnglish
        6·
        2 months ago

        I literally just want to say thank you. I’ve been trying to get across something similar, and I’m sure we’d disagree on a few issues. But your compassion and understanding of all points of view is genuinely inspiring

        • spujbOPEnglish
          1·
          2 months ago

          It was a divisive comment that was certainly fueled by already-high emotions, the mods may have just done what was necessary to keep toxicity and flaming at bay.

          I ask you to please not add fuel to the fire—nobody gains anything from the doubling down on hurt feelings. Listen to each other instead of trying to one-up.

            • spujbOPEnglish
              2·
              2 months ago

              Shoutout to the mods for putting up with the garbage behavior my post shuffled up. 🙏

              And thank you friend for doing your part not to get me banned again :)

      • Kedly@lemm.ee
        2·
        2 months ago

        I did end up checking it out, but I gotta be honest, it being specifically a men focussed place and the only thread about the bear meme was how it effected women and not a discussion on how demoralizing it is/the effects of having to grow up your entire life with constant and consistent messaging that men have it better, and men are more violent, and men need to stop being bigoted/toxic, was really offputting.

        I was raised in a feminist household and I have had plenty of strong and political women in my life, so I understand the statistics and the politics and the nuance, and yet even so that messaging has had a negative impact on me. So a mens space that isnt taking the opportunity to talk about that aspect of this situation is really disappointing.

        • spujbOPEnglish
          1·
          2 months ago

          I get that! Maybe make a post? Read the rules and stuff beforehand obviously but I’ll be there to support you :)

          • Kedly@lemm.ee
            2·
            2 months ago

            Yeah, maybe when I’ve had some time to cooldown and formulate the right words

              • barsoap@lemm.ee
                2·
                2 months ago

                Oh not just “at this point” I’ve been busy figuring out what sticks with people vs. what doesn’t for at least two decades now. Points that, when prodded, don’t cause resistance, where some leverage can be applied that then may or may not avalanche into reevaluation of other topics which would be foolhardy to address directly. Dancing around the neuroses of the collective to enact my grand political vision of *checks notes* universal psychological health.

                That all said yes of course we also have issues with gender roles. It’s just that in terms of who sits at the big power levers that’s not terribly relevant any more, it’s not 1850 any more the dam has long since been breached and as women can inherit fortunes nowadays the gender distribution of oligarchs is bound to level out soon enough.

      • Soulg@sh.itjust.works
        1·
        1 month ago

        None of that has anything to do with the conversation. You’re only justifying the fact that you’re agreeing that men don’t get to have problems and should just shut up