If you are thinking about harming yourself — get immediate crisis support. Connect to a crisis counselor 24/7, 365 days a year, from anywhere in the U.S via text, chat, or phone. The Trevor Project is 100% confidential and 100% free.
You must log in or register to comment.
I realized i’m not nb that was just a cope and i’m Transfem. Thought it was going to go well. It’s not going well it looks like I’m going to lose my partner of 25 years. I know it takes time but they just seem, really not okay with it all. even though i still look exactly the same they have stopped touching me. A good new friend explained that my partner is just mourning the loss of her husband. I’ll give them all the time they need but it ain’t looking good.
and it’s Father’s day today and that’s just making the isolation and loneliness feel stronger.
i am however very pretty and I love myself limitlessly so that is nice. And I’m wearing a pink skirt that i bought because I liked it not for anyone else’s approval. Even if i got nobody else i got me and i’m pretty cool so things will be okay.
Went to the HRT appointment yesterday and am getting bloodwork thursday to move that along :)
Feminine clothes all seem like much pricier with less material for very similar garments! My friend explained the pink tax to me. Awful! I have an entire wardrobe to build here!
OMG I’M SO HAPPY FOR YOU!!! :D
Went to the HRT appointment yesterday and am getting bloodwork thursday to move that along :)
I’m very excited for you, you’ll see it’s amazing! 🤩 It’s slow but it’s like magic!
I protested every day against the far right, I’m also dysphoric because I can’t seem to see myself as a woman in the mirror for some reason this week.
I see you girl you’re a legend! Thanks for being tough, fuck the far right!
No you’re a legend! 💜
I used Pokemon go to see how much I walked this week :
Am I healthy now?
I’ve been fantasizing about how much I’ll get to cuddle and snuggle with a girl once we meet in person.
mmmmm so soft
Very strangely, home life is going great. I’ve joined a new family! Last one friggin’ tried to kill me and did a piss-poor job of raising me, so having one where people talk to me and I can speak my mind and ask questions and they actually maybe even care about my life, rather than just trying to push me to make my life what they want and screw how I feel, basic decency, any kind of respect… Three decades is too long to keep treating someone like a misbehaving child! Anyway I’ve got a new name to wear, if I want 🤔 Idunno what the others with that name think about that, nor quite exactly how I feel 🤔 Hmmifications!
Went out to an extended-family partyish thingle just now. Got an odd Long Island Iced Tea! It was sour. That was odd. I liked it, though. Tried to get a Mai Tai but they didn’t have something(s) they needed for it 😅 Tried to save some of the burger and tots for later but then I accidentally ate them all @.@ Was good :3
Adulting-life isn’t so hot but hopefully it’ll work out. Some like… paperworky governmenty crap to deal with, accidentally fuxxored up a money transfer and it’s in the wrong bank and bleeegh that’ll take a minute to fix. Gotta figure out income and get my head checked and fixed and also possibly find out what if anything is wrong with my liver 😅 Gotta wait for more paperwork before I can do that, though. Too much paper up here 🤔
Online/personal-quiet-???-life is… sadness. Apparently everycritter just assumes that what I need is to be left out in the cold like nobody notices or cares that I’m missing, or why, or anything. Depressness. I hope some day I’ll have some healthy relationships and get to feel like I matter. Head’s busted, though. Hard enough to properly feel anything, then there are messes and problems and glitches and on top of that there’s the fact that hunams are very strange and I don’t belong on this planet :|
It’s kinda sickening to come back to my computer and just be like “Oh, right, I ran away 'cause nobody gives a shit and now I’m upset 'cause nobody gives a shit. Nothing left to do but sit around alone and dwell on my loneliness.”
frusses noisily :-\
So that’s where I’m at. Up here in my attic, sadness. Downstairs, new fam. Downstairs even more, phonecalls and other stress in the basement 😅 🤷
congrats on the new fam and the new name! Feeling accepted and loved for yourself is just the best feeling in life i think.
Not out socially, so Father’s day is weird, getting together with family and all; constant affirmation of my imaginary masculinity, yuck.
At least it’s over. Back home and chilling with my wife and our child, enjoying a quiet evening.May it be your last time having to go through that! Maybe you’ll be out before it rolls around again!
constant affirmation of my imaginary masculinity, yuck.
Yuck! Relatable, I hope you get to show them the real you soon (or not, do it when you’re ready!)
After 2 months of being on antidepressants (again) and feeling pretty great, I finally had another one of my little depressive episodes that come on from time to time. Erratic sleep, erratic diet, erratic work schedule… I even ended up crying after finishing my laser hair removal session. I mean, I cry a little bit at the end anyway cuz it hurts like hell, but I cried more than usual this time.
On the bright side… I did get laser, so I’m glad that’s moving along still. And I got to use the weekend to recharge. Hopefully this week will be better.
depression is a bastard, i feel you.
how bad is the laser I was thinking that it would be less painful is it still pretty bad? Sounds like it’s worth it anyway?
What were you thinking it’d be less painful than? It’s pretty painful for me, but not the worst thing I’ve ever felt. Somewhere in the neighborhood of touching a hot stove and stubbing a toe. I’ve heard it compared to getting snapped by a rubber band, and that’s not too far off either. Some areas are worse than others, like above the lip or around the jawline. Fortunately, it subsides a few seconds after each zap, and my technician goes pretty slowly.
I think it’ll be worth it, but it takes a while. I did 1 session per month for about 5 months at one place, didn’t see much change, took a break for about a year, and then resumed at a new place. 2 more sessions later, and I’ve finally started noticing some obvious clear areas. But they don’t last longer than a week or so before new hair starts growing in, so I’ve still got some sessions to go.
oh than the electrolysis sorry i didn’t complete the thought
I was shocked at how painful the fingernail curing machine was like it stops hurting right when the concern kicks in every time!
Thanks for sharing your experience it’s very helpful.
Decent week, watching Lord of the Rings in-theater for the first time since… learning to read? (I’m told toddler me was in awe of the movies and well behaved in the theater when they came out), plus it’s the full extended edition 😊 1 movie per day. There’s a foreword honoring Bernard Hill (Theoden) each movie 😢
It’s hot outside and I hate it. 90+ with no rain for this whole damn upcoming week
Hey you! Hi! :3 😝!
Also 90+ is horrifying 🙀 I’m Minnesotan now so a humid 66°F apparently feels hot to me now 😅 70ish seems to be the usual beginning of discomforty warmness. Is’pose I wanted to become a cooler-temperature critter, just didn’t think it was gonna happen quite this way I guess 😅 New family and I just finished the second movie (extended edition for both, Ithink) recentlish so that’s sortof a thing we’re doing too. Not in theatre, though :3
FREN!!! 90+ is indeed horrifying. My birth certificate says texas but i am very much not made for that climate.
66 f sounds amazing and so comfortable, my AC is doing it’s best and maintains about 74 (set to 70)
The theatrical version does not exist, only the extended. Coincidentally, the best points to take a BIO break in each movie is
- Just before the council of Elrond
- Rabbit stew
- About 10 minutes before the charge of the Rohirrim. Or GROND!
In theater has this shown before the movies right now 😢
Edit1: apparently it’s supposed to storm from… the time I enter the theater for Return of the King, to abooooout when the movie ends. Then back to hot and no rain for the rest of the week.
Other fun is that my ticket reads “Lord of the Rings: Return of”, ends at the tear off, then reads “Lord of the Ring”. So, “Lord of the Rings: Return of the Lord of the Ring”, which would be a VERY different movie
Rain and cool are nice :3 My attic gets soooooper stuffy so I’ve been liking that this place has decided to be Seattle for a little while 😅 Rain, rain, every day @.@ 🌧 I like storms and rain in general, though :3 At least, while sheltered I do.
So what is that movie, LotR Empire Strikes back? 😅 Reverse Return of the Jedi? … Dunno why LotR is Star Wars now but I just woke up so I’m probably a little weird 😅
I wonder if in that version we actually get the Scouring of the Shire from the books? That and maybe Scary Bilbo as a ring-wraith
Storms are great, it actually did rain today. For like 10 minutes.
