In a surprising twist that has sent shockwaves through the educational television community, beloved children’s entertainer Ms. Rachel has officially taken over Mr. Rogers’ Neighborhood. The first order of business? Retiring the iconic overalls for a collection of cozy cardigans that would make your grandma jealous.
The announcement was made during a special episode where Ms. Rachel serenaded the audience with a heartwarming rendition of “Won’t You Be My Neighbor?” leaving millions of toddlers confused and nostalgic adults thrilled.
Read the rest of the satire news article here on TattletaleTimes.com
All news isn’t glowing for this changing of the guard however.
Mr. Rogers neighborhood, featured in miniature in the opening credits, consists of small 1940s and 50s bungalows typically built during the affordable housing boom early in the expansion of suburbia. At the time of writing 65% of these former “starter homes” were owned by multinational investment firms that have converted them to high priced rentals. Special dispensation was required from Blackrock International to sell the former Rogers property from its investment portfolio (from which it received healthy tax break for the sale).
With perpetually high property values and today’s soaring interested rates, Ms Rachel was required to take on borrowing terms generously called “onerous”. This has left the new host cash strapped and unable to finance further growth or needed upgrades to sets and lighting required in today’s high resolution production. This resulted in at least one FCC fine, in the third episode of the season, where the legacy 1970s crew had drawn graffiti depicting former President Richard Nixon in sexual congress with former VP Spiro Agnew while defecating on the American Flag was clearly visible in the background of the castle set in the “Land of Make-Believe”. Television technology in the 1970s was not detailed enough for any of this to be visible on televisions at home, but today’s cameras and 4k high definition TVs in viewers homes are very much capable of reproducing these images to the eyes of today’s tots. An apology from the production company was forthcoming, but ironically criticized for its lack of vision.
Lastly, the cash crunch also triggered and exit close in Daniel Tiger’s contract allowing the puppet to exercise Free Agency status. Rumors abound about recent visit from representatives visiting with Tiger from the Children’s Television Workshop, home of Sesame Street. We reached out to CTW for comment.
Lawerence Bools ,Director of Talent Acquisition at CTW, responded with “Listen, Danial is a powerhouse of talent. Frankly he’s been carrying ‘Neighborhood’ for decades. He was given his own solo show apart from his prior work as evidence of this. He’s done well for them but his efforts there hasn’t been reflected in his paycheck and maybe its time it should.” Paparazzi have captured photographs of Tiger with Sesame Street cast members Elmo, Bert and Ernie exiting Bert’s British racing green Bentley Bentayga outside a popular Miami night club. Later pictures show Tiger at a local McLaren dealership accepting the keys to a bright blue McLaren 720s Coupe sports car. Is this a harbinger of things to come?
There’s been no official word of other cast changes apart from Ms Rachel’s recent takeover.