Image of a hand holding a small business card. Card reads:

Dr Crobar’s Lung Extensions Shh! Don’t tell anyone I handed you this card

With extended lungs you can: • Scream longer • Breathe harder • Brag about extended lungs

This procedure is not legal but I will do it for you. Do not tell the police or my family

extendedlungs@gmail.com

  • Dagoth Ur (the god)@lemmy.ml
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    43
    ·
    9 months ago

    Nerevar you fool, do not fall for Dr crobars scam. He will not expand your lung. That is impossible Nerevar. I Dagoth Ur(the god) had extended lungs for a while until i grew to not need lungs anymore. It is a grand and intoxicating waste of money and time. I could breathe so well that i could hear the gnomes in my walls. But you will never be able to. You are not a god like I Dagot Ur(the god). No Nerevar, i cannot teach you. In fact i do not wish to teach you. You shouldn’t even attempt to have larger lungs. Nerevar, look! Over there! An Argonian Maid! Go, run. Maybe she’s lusty

    • skulblaka@kbin.social
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      23
      ·
      9 months ago

      This is my new favorite account on Lemmy.

      Also fuck you Dagoth, I heard you talking shit. The wall gnomes tell me your boys haven’t touched grass in so long that their faces rotted off. Maybe if you got rid of that yee-yee ass golden mask you might get some goddesses on your dick. N’waaaaaah

      • Dagoth Ur (the god)@lemmy.ml
        link
        fedilink
        arrow-up
        5
        ·
        9 months ago

        Nerevar, do not threaten me, especially not one week before my grand honeymoon. Has the gnome population within your walls multiplied once more? Very well, I shall handle it. But first, allow me to indulge in this newfound fascination called “Skibidi Toilet” on this realm’s peculiar platform known as YouTube. It boasts over twenty episodes, and the man with the television for a head has just experienced a change in hue, turning red for the first time.

        Nerevar, return swiftly! It seems they are now flushing them down the abyss!