This is your reminder that national polling doesn’t matter, and that you can win the presidency with roughly 20,000 votes

Like what happened to that dude from Metallica’s “One”

Yeah. There’s always a chance that a customer could have an issue on a weekend and then I’ve gotta fix it. Once I was on 27 hours of conference calls over a weekend. But as I’ve gotten better at my job those sorts of things happen less and less.

Honestly the worst part of my job is doing my timesheets and updating weekly status, but when the weather’s good I do that from my hammock with a cold beer in hand which makes it suck less.

I’m salaried so I don’t have a lunch break. I work from home so I basically set my own hours as long as I can be contacted from about 10am to 3pm and go to any meetings I have scheduled.

John Oliver showed me they’ll probably just call in a vet.

Maybe get some farmer with castration bands.

When I need to do stupid tasks like timesheets and emails I unplug. The lack of screen space means I don’t get distracted.

When I need to do hard work I dock my system and use my dual 4Ks to maximize visual bandwidth.

I bet the LGBTQ+ movement has done wonders for recruiting.

“Ve have footage of you haffink gay sex.”

“Yes, I’m gay. That’s my husband. The kids were finally gone for an hour so we had some fun.”

“Blyat.”

He didn’t lose shit. Square footage is what matters, not people.

Which was when Slashdot was like BBS before the Eternal September

The top post in music is Alice Cooper’s “Guilty”

President Biden’s campaign spokesman said Trump’s conviction shows “no one is above the law.” “There is still only one way to keep Donald Trump out of the Oval Office: at the ballot box,”

That’s fucking terrifying

Well that didn’t take long.

I’m less concerned with them being effective and more concerned they’ll fuck up and kick off Kessler Syndrome

A big one is that pregnancy and child birth SUUUUUCK. Women finally have the ability to avoid it entirely, and I don’t blame them.

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You dodged three bullets, bro. If a woman gets turned off by asking then she’s either not into you or she wants you to chase her, and both should be deal-breakers.

I’d think it would be common sense not to be driving when you have a court appearance. I’d put on at least a collared shirt and a tie and take the call from a quiet place where there’s nothing else going on.

🇺🇸 *And I’m proud to be an American, where at least I know I’m free" 🦅

Code 50 lines and whaddaya get?

Another day older and deeper in debt.

Saint Peter, don’t you call me 'cause I can’t go

I owe my soul to the private equity group who owns my house.

If a woman has a problem with me asking if I can touch her then I probably don’t want to.