“My dishwasher is on the internet!” - “Why is on the internet?” - “To download software updates!” - “Why does it need software updates?” - “To fix security vulnerabilities!” - “Why would it have security vulnerabilities?” -“Because it’s on the internet!”
I never connected my refrigerator to the internet. Why the fuck would I need Bixby on my refrigerator? I don’t even use the voice assistant on my phone.
Yeah, I’m absurdly suspicious of pretty much everything connected to the internet these days. I’m suspicious of any cameras, of people randomly happening to take a picture with me in the background. I’m suspicious of talking out loud around my phone…the future sucks.
Although, thankfully the pandemic has given me a seemingly never-ending excuse to wear something over my face at all times.
haha, same, every time someone asks me for a pic i have to choose between refusing by making something up (bad hair etc), going with the privacy infodump, or accepting and just regretting it for my whole life
And here we have why I have not connected my smart dishwasher to the Internet. Those 2 extra wash cycles don’t seem worth it. Especially considering I only ever use the most powerful sounding wash cycle.
I get that, I have a smart oven, washer, dryer and dishwasher. All connected to the internet (private guest network just in case), and they all send updates to one Telegram group chat using IFTTT. It’s pretty convenient to get updates when a device is done.
The only two things that I like about smart appliances:
remote preheat for the oven (ready to pop the frozen pizza in right when I walk in the door)
cycle end notification for the washer (when I’m in the basement I can’t hear the sound to know when to move the clothes to the dryer)
I can’t imagine needing a notification on the dishwasher (I’m never wanting for it to finish to do something else) or refrigerator (just what even would it do).
I guess the smart control of the hvac is nice (turn it on when I’m on my way back from vacation so the temperature is perfect when I get home), but does that count as an appliance?
I love that “door open” warning of my fridge, and I also like that I get a notification when the fridge unexpectedly disconnects from the network (which usually means that the power has gone out, so I can go and check before all my food has died).
Also, the notifications when then laundry machine finishes are handy (so I can unload it and avoid smelly clothes).
remote preheat for the oven (ready to pop the frozen pizza in right when I walk in the door)
Most ovens these days have a sort of time delay feature so you can set it to turn on X hours from now. Though I will admit it’s more convenient not to have to estimate what time you’re gonna be home at. Still, there are definitely alternatives to using an internet-connected over.
cycle end notification for the washer (when I’m in the basement I can’t hear the sound to know when to move the clothes to the dryer)
I already know my washing machine takes almost exactly 30 minutes to finish after I turn on the water. I just set a timer on my phone for that amount of time.
The delayed start requires planning ahead. I’m…not great at that.
As for the laundry cycles, my washer is variable on time depending on load size or dirt level or something. It’s rarely done by the time it estimates at the start.
lol yep. If only. My washer adjusts the cycle time based on…well honestly I don’t know what. Load size? Dirtiness? So if it starts the cycle and says it’ll be an hour, it could be 55 minutes or it could be 85 minutes. There’s just no way to be certain. Gets everything clean, though.
I could see a connected dishwasher being useful if all water using apps (liances, not lications) could coordinate with the water softener to determine if it needs to cycle before they start (and to automatically start once the soft water is ready).
The fuck a smart dishwasher gonna do, play Mozart while my dishes get smashed around inside then receive a text message later saying “Oi it’s me ur dishwasher I just finished the dishes” while it plays Mozart again but at max volume until you waddle your fatass over and press the ‘shut the fuck up’ button?
“My dishwasher is on the internet!” - “Why is on the internet?” - “To download software updates!” - “Why does it need software updates?” - “To fix security vulnerabilities!” - “Why would it have security vulnerabilities?” -“Because it’s on the internet!”
I never connected my refrigerator to the internet. Why the fuck would I need Bixby on my refrigerator? I don’t even use the voice assistant on my phone.
Yeah, I’m absurdly suspicious of pretty much everything connected to the internet these days. I’m suspicious of any cameras, of people randomly happening to take a picture with me in the background. I’m suspicious of talking out loud around my phone…the future sucks.
Although, thankfully the pandemic has given me a seemingly never-ending excuse to wear something over my face at all times.
haha, same, every time someone asks me for a pic i have to choose between refusing by making something up (bad hair etc), going with the privacy infodump, or accepting and just regretting it for my whole life
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And here we have why I have not connected my smart dishwasher to the Internet. Those 2 extra wash cycles don’t seem worth it. Especially considering I only ever use the most powerful sounding wash cycle.
I get that, I have a smart oven, washer, dryer and dishwasher. All connected to the internet (private guest network just in case), and they all send updates to one Telegram group chat using IFTTT. It’s pretty convenient to get updates when a device is done.
Mine just beep when they’re done.
The only two things that I like about smart appliances:
I can’t imagine needing a notification on the dishwasher (I’m never wanting for it to finish to do something else) or refrigerator (just what even would it do).
I guess the smart control of the hvac is nice (turn it on when I’m on my way back from vacation so the temperature is perfect when I get home), but does that count as an appliance?
What about the sweaters in the oven?
Yeah, I would definitely want to know.
A notification you’ve left the fridge door open could be handy.
How often do you animals just leave the fridge standing open?
It’s usually when it doesn’t close properly for some reason.
Ohhhh…kay, yes, you’re right. Dang, I want that now.
I love that “door open” warning of my fridge, and I also like that I get a notification when the fridge unexpectedly disconnects from the network (which usually means that the power has gone out, so I can go and check before all my food has died).
Also, the notifications when then laundry machine finishes are handy (so I can unload it and avoid smelly clothes).
BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP
“Sounds like I left the fridge open.”
Seriously, I can hear that beep anywhere in the house.
Most ovens these days have a sort of time delay feature so you can set it to turn on X hours from now. Though I will admit it’s more convenient not to have to estimate what time you’re gonna be home at. Still, there are definitely alternatives to using an internet-connected over.
I already know my washing machine takes almost exactly 30 minutes to finish after I turn on the water. I just set a timer on my phone for that amount of time.
The delayed start requires planning ahead. I’m…not great at that.
As for the laundry cycles, my washer is variable on time depending on load size or dirt level or something. It’s rarely done by the time it estimates at the start.
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dumb me for using a timer on the washer /s
lol yep. If only. My washer adjusts the cycle time based on…well honestly I don’t know what. Load size? Dirtiness? So if it starts the cycle and says it’ll be an hour, it could be 55 minutes or it could be 85 minutes. There’s just no way to be certain. Gets everything clean, though.
Cool, but that’s only half the truth, 'cause how do you turn off your fridge, microwave stuff etc. when you’re away from home then?? /s
We once invented multiple protocols, because doing everything over the same protocol is obviously a bad idea…
I could see a connected dishwasher being useful if all water using apps (liances, not lications) could coordinate with the water softener to determine if it needs to cycle before they start (and to automatically start once the soft water is ready).
Is that even a thing?
The fuck a smart dishwasher gonna do, play Mozart while my dishes get smashed around inside then receive a text message later saying “Oi it’s me ur dishwasher I just finished the dishes” while it plays Mozart again but at max volume until you waddle your fatass over and press the ‘shut the fuck up’ button?
Don’t forget lightbulbs.
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