I know I cannot provide advice in this sitaution because I get what you are saying as I too have been dealing with the thoughts.

It can be difficult, I have had a LOT of instances of bad things happen because of my misaligned views ( been told I need a priest to exorcise the “demons” kind of bad) and I am still have to deal with my sitaution and the invasive thoughts that come with it. It takes a lot trying to deal with it, but somehow in my life I have at least found a few people that have accepted me.

Like I don’t need to maintain constant contact but for me it is being “accepted” is a lot ( a low bar I know) and in some cases just recently have been in contact with someone I haven’t heard in years, but I can still feel comfortable communicating with them after all that time.

I mean I really do not like my life where I am at and there is a lot of things that I wanted to do and want to do but cannot because there are reasons beyond my control. At least for me, it feels like I am hanging by the sinews of the good will of others.

So yeah, just a long winded reply going on about sharing in the pain. I don’t know what the answer is but I have tried to push myself lately to dig myself out of things otherwise I would be drowning in the tunnel that I am stuck in.

I been doing writing stuff and trying to be more involved in social media a bit more has been my “digging” out attempt